Birthday Time
by Xagrok
Summary: Class 3-E receives information from Korosensei - and a vague assignment.
"Well then, everyone, that concludes our extracurricular trip. Please make sure to do all of the homework assignments I handed out earlier. Task three will be very complex and hard to solve, but I'm sure you can do it!" Korosensei said with his red circle-face.

As Class 3-E started to talk and scatter slowly, he raised one of his tentacles again. "Ah, yes, before I forget it!" he grinned, his smile even wider than usual, as the class was forced quiet again, "This isn't directly related to your education or assassination plans, but I wanted to mention that Karasuma-sensei's birthday is on August 15. If you're planning to do something for him, this would be an excellent exercise to train your undercover working skills!"

All of the slightly indignant silence transformed into a perfect quiet in an instant. Even Irina, who was standing outside of the dining hall due to a suspicious remark of the octopus thirty minutes ago, uncrossed her arms and paid as much attention as possible. The pupils looked at each other, back at Korosensei, back at each other, like Korosensei had suddenly drawn octopuses on their faces at Mach 20.

As sudden as the mood in the silence had shifted, it was reversed to vivid discussions between the pupils as Korosensei watched the hell he'd unbound.

"But Sensei, where did you get that information? And what could we do for him?" Isogai asked.

"Oi, and isn't this in the middle of summer break as well? He won't be here, how are we supposed to do something for him?"

The teacher's face's colours shifted to being blue and yellow-striped. "Nurunurunuru," he laughed, "I have my sources, too, you know. Also, I won't give you any information besides the date. By now, your investigation and assassination skills have become good enough for you to manage this on your own, even the difficult aspects like data collection."

"Yeah, right!" "As if!" "Help us out a little more, octopus-head!" "Aren't you supposed to be our teacher?"

Korosensei's smile didn't falter. "Consider it an actual homework assignment then," he said. "Maybe I'll give you credit points if you do a decent enough job."

Again, a shift in the mood of the students. Their faces took on a more serious look as they nodded, comprehending, trained.

The octopus raised another tentacle, his face shifting back towards red with a circle. "It's just like an assassination attempt. Closely observe your target, conceal your movements to prevent them from becoming wary of your actions, and strike when the opportunity offers itself." He picked up the papers on his standing table, stacked and organized them, and put them back into his coat. "That's all for today. I look forward to seeing your attempts at figuring out your teacher; I know you can do it. Class dismissed!" And with this, he burst out of the hall.

Irina smirked to herself outside, leaving in the direction of her room where she'd left her belongings as her high heels made soft sounds on the vessel's floor. As she threw her hair back, she already was planning ahead. Wrapping men around her finger was her specialty, after all, and while most of her attempts on her coworker had failed when she'd been to mock-kill him, it had also allowed her to figure out some of the ways he ticked.

He would take her more seriously after this, no doubt. After all her work on killing the octopus, however, she'd been shown on multiple occasions that the man was quite perceptive and hard to fool. She had to reflect on whether in this operation working together with someone would be more beneficial or whether she would do this on her own.

As she picked up her things, she wrinkled her forehead, suddenly in thought. Didn't this fit too well? Karasuma had been called back to the Defense ministry immediately to report back on the incident concerning Takaoka and hadn't been able to travel back together with them, so the octopus had free reign. Had that been part of his plan? A problem of the octopus was that he was hard to judge - goofy and idiotic in one moment, scarily perceptive in the other, and switching in the matter of milliseconds.

Ms. Jelavic shook her head. No time to worry about that. She would prove her worth. If the brats - no, children, she corrected herself - were trusted enough by their target to be entrusted with such a task, then she should be even more qualified.

Surprising Karasuma should be as easy as making Nagisa flustered.

* * *

In the meantime, the students had assessed their situation and already constructed a quick session for planning their strategy. Kataoka and Isogai were standing in front of the class.

"Okay, first things first. What do we know about Karasuma-sensei?" Isogai asked. The class collectively shifted in their seats.

"He's in the defense ministry, and one of their top men," Karma said.

"He's both fatherly and strict and able to teach us comprehensively. And he's able to quickly analyze situations, and he cared about us," Kaede and Okuda added.

Isogai noted every named aspect on the mobile blackboard until everyone had had their turn. Except for Nagisa. Turning around, he and Kataoka were about to call him when they stopped. Nagisa was gazing at his notebook, his eyes gone, deep in thought.

"Nagisa?" Sugino said and nudged him from behind. He looked up with a start.

"Huh?" he mumbled, his blue eyes scanning the classroom.

"Nagisa, what do you know about Karasuma-sensei that we could use?" Kataoka repeated.

"Are you okay? You looked so absent-minded," Isogai said.

Nagisa nodded, more serious now. "Ah, I was noting down the facts we collected and added my own thought. And I came to the conclusion that we don't know a lot about Karasuma-sensei's direct interests since he tends to keep his distance from us if possible, although that has improved."

The class sat in silence. "Well, Nagisa," Karma smirked smugly from behind, "You're always so much about taking useful notes about Korosensei. How about doing the same thing with Karasuma-sensei?"

Murmurs went through the class, a general sentiment of agreement sounding through. "Nagisa-kun's observations were always right." "They helped us at the summer camp, too." "Also, he doesn't have boobs." "Kayano, that doesn't have anything to do this."

"Nagisa, would that be okay with you?" Isogai asked. "Naturally," he picked up his voice, making it sound more commanding, "everyone in here will also help make observations and share those with us." With a more quiet and friendly tone after having directed the class's attention to himself, he added: "We would greatly appreciate it if you could do that for us, though."

With everyone's expectant looks on him, Nagisa laughed awkwardly. "I can do my best," he said, scratching himself behind the ear.

Isogai nodded thankfully, taking everyone into perspective again. "Then it's decided," he said. "That's it for today. We'll start planning and observing tomorrow. We can do this!"

* * *

"Karasuma-sensei, would you like to taste-test some of our cake?" Hara asked with a sweet smile, approaching the teacher with Kanzaki and Nakamura.

Karasuma lay down the papers he'd been looking through, staring at the girls with a raised eyebrow. "Ah, no, thank you," he said after giving it a quick look.

Nakamura nudged him in the shoulder. "Come on, Sensei. You always put on such a sour face, so it's only fair that you get something sweet as well! And what's better than a girl's homemade cake?" She scrunched her eyebrows and dragged her mouth into a pout. "Unless, of course, you want to dismiss the work that went into making that cake -"

Karasuma sighed and took the slice. "Fine, I'll eat it. Now go, class will resume soon."

The girls chuckled. "Alright, Sensei!" "Enjoy your cake!"

When they had left the entrance to the staff room, Karasuma looked at the slice a bit unwillingly. Part of him wanted to throw the sudden gift away in case of there being something suspicious in it, but if he did that, the girls would use that on a different occasion to get what they wanted. On the other hand, eating this might make the students think they could just get him to act on their will whenever they wanted. A difficult choice.

A sniffing sound from behind made him turn around. He spotted Korosensei in the doorway, drooling a bit and failing to be not obvious in his desire.

"What is it?" Karasuma groaned.

"Oh, it's nothing, Karasuma-sensei," the pink-faced octopus said in honeyed tones. "It's just that you don't look like you wanted to eat this cake, so I wondered whether, you know, as colleagues, I could have a teeny tiny piece?"

Karasuma furrowed his eyebrows, frowning deeply. "You have class," he said dismissively. "You should prepare for that instead of drooling over a slice of cake."

"It'll be just a tiny bite."

"No."

"Just a tiny, tiny piece?"

"No."

"A crumb?"

"No."

"Oh, you are so cruel, Karasuma-sensei!" the octopus cried out, fake tears that he'd probably painted on his face quickly running down his face.

"Do your work and go," Karasuma grunted, returning to his work, now taking a bite of the cake.

Karasuma's eyes opened a tiny bit, just like his mouth, as he stared at the cake as it dissolved on his tongue-

* * *

"But you underestimate the character! He'd clearly-"

"What is this about?" Karasuma sighed.

"Terasaka says this book is stupid due to the protagonist being whiny, boring, and shallow. Flat, in short!"

The teacher took a look at the book. "While he certainly appears to be that way, reading a bit more closely will show you that this is what she intends other people to think in order to mask her cleverness." As Karasuma went on and on, the two pupils listened attentively, nodding every now and then, although Terasaka still looked more disgruntled rather than interested, although his frown grew less deep.

Silent whispers interrupted Karasuma's flow and he stopped talking. "Of course," he said, face unchanging and voice as steady as ever, "my literary analysis is also my interpretation. You should find your own and can discover much by this."

A bit unsettled, he walked away again, leaving the two students looking and nodding at each other with minimal gestures.

In the distance, a blue-haired boy took notes.

* * *

Karasuma frowns as he looked through the report he had written. He might have the day off, but that doesn't mean he'd slack off. The ministry requires those reports on a regular basis, and skipping one wouldn't do.

He packs the finished and corrected report into his bag and slightly loosens his tie. The pupils of class 3-E had requested a bit of extra training during summer break so their skills wouldn't rust, and he, prioritizing work, had agreed. As he walks through the building to go outside, he lets his gaze wander over the fields, noticing that some pupils seem to be absent. Maybe they are refreshing themselves? This summer is quite hot, after all.

As soon as he exits the building, he does a quick step back to escape the green knife that wouldn't have killed him, but still hit. More knife thrusts meet him. Tadaomi Karasuma misses no beat as he deflects them all, disarming one pupil after the other.

"What the hell are you doing?" he barks. The students look at him sheepishly.

"We just wanted to show you our progress, Karasuma-sensei," Karma smirks and shakes his head. "You're still as good as ever."

"This is no laughing matter," he answers, frowning deeply. "Had I not realized it was you, I could have counterattacked, risking to hurt you." He sighs. "Please, children, remember to be careful and wary of your surroundings. That's essential to be a good assassin. Now, pick up your knives and we can return to the field."

When he steps out, he has to jump back again. Throwing knives. These brats are overzealous. Karasuma throws an exasperated glance in the direction of his attackers as he finally goes to train the pupils.

After five minutes, he firmly believes that the children merely requested his attendance to test his limits. Constant attacks from all directions, from near and afar. Still, they clearly show improvement with much better coordinated attacks, varying between focused and spread attacks, sometimes aided by projectiles. These kids were getting inventive.

"Okay, you seem exhausted," Karasuma says, his hands at his hips. "Let's take a small break. Five minutes."

As the students let themselves fall to the ground, gasping after all the training - their endurance had grown considerably - Karasuma allows himself to catch his breath as well.

"Karasuma-sensei," a shy voice says. Okuda shifts from one foot to the other.

"Ah, Okuda-kun. How may I help you?" Karasuma asks. Okuda is a calm, silent pupil. Certainly not the best endurance-wise and definitely not too outstanding in physical combat, but excellent in chemistry.

"You seem thirsty. Would you like some water?" She offers him a small bottle and Karasuma accepts.

"Thank you, Okuda-kun, It's important to stay hydrated, after all." He turns around towards the others. "Please remember to drink enough, everyone," he advises and places the bottle at his lips, smelling out of habit.

He immediately pulls back and stares at the girl in disbelief and exasperation. "Okuda-kun… You put something into the water?"

Okuda doesn't meet his eyes, but does look vaguely disappointed. "I had hoped you wouldn't smell it… But you are a man of the military, after all." She hangs her head in defeat.

Karasuma narrows his eyes. "While it was a commendable effort, I don't appreciate being used as a guinea pig, Okuda-kun. Please meet me after class."

Okuda hangs her head and nods. "I understand, Karasuma-sensei. I'm sorry." She reaches behind her into her bag and pulls out another bottle. "Please accept my own water as an apology for now, sensei."

Karasuma thanks her and downs the bottle in one go. He closes his eyes, enjoying the cool feeling of the water sliding down his oesophagus while wiping away some sweat that had formed on his forehead. As he opens his eyes again, his vision is blurry and he staggers.

"Seriously… Another - bottle?"

He falls to the ground and passes out, muffled snickering coming to his ears.

* * *

"Nagisa-kun, thank you for your data collecting. It was a great help."

"Ah, no need to thank me. It was interesting to test new things."

The man in the seat groans as he opens his eyes again. As his vision sharpens, he pierces every pupil with sleep-ridden eyes.

This smell. Fire.

Suddenly alarmed, Karasuma fights to regain his consciousness when he smells something different. Something sweet, and something new.

His students, while looking sheepish, grin at him broadly as they place a slice of cake in front of him, a candle sticking in it and burning. Behind the teacher's desk, he spots a brand-new suit - and no cheap one, judging by the looks of it. Irina is leaning against the doorframe, the octopus drooling near the rest of the cake, held off by some anti-him knives swung constantly. The outside world is dipped in blazing red and orange.

"You planned this," he sighs.

"We did," Isogai confirms and nods.

"You collected data about me?"

"And bitch-sensei purchased the suit and she and Korosensei helped us with the sleeping drug," Kataoka explained.

"And I analyzed the data and created the perfect recipe, using some of the leftover data from Korosensei!" Ritsu cheered from her huge apparatus.

"I was helpful, too! Don't I deserve cake?" the octopus sobbed.

"You barely did anything, you just stood there and gave comments!" the class shot back in sync.

"While your efforts are impressive and commendable," he says while sitting up and adjusting his tie, "you're still in big trouble. All of you." He looks at his coworkers. "Including you."

"We know," Nagisa says with his angelic smile. "Happy birthday, Otou-san."

Heavy silence falls on the classroom, as quiet as the aftermath of a flash grenade,

as everyone holds their sharply-drawn breath. Nagisa's own eyes widen like everyone else's as he holds his hand in front of his mouth in shock.

A quiet giggle breaks through the deafening tense quietness, growing in intensity until it becomes roaring laughter. Tears stream from her eyes as Nakamura is bent over, beating her desk with her fists.

"Otou-san, Nagisa? Really? You should have called him Paparasuma instead!" She gasps for air, almost sobbing now, as the rest of the classroom falls out of the general petrification.

Isogai throws an arm over Nagisa's shoulder. "But it's true, isn't it?" he muses. "Karasuma-sensei has grown to become something close to a father figure."

"And he did worry about us like we were his kids rather than his subordinates or soldiers back on the island," Hazama adds.

"He's wonderful, isn't he?" Kurahashi giggles.

 _Click-clack, Click-clack._

Irina approaches Karasuma who still sits frozen in place, swinging her hips lightly, the heels of her shoes clattering on the floor. A smirk graces her features, her eyes glinting dangerously as she crouches down in front of the table on which Karasuma is still sitting.

"Ka-ra-su-ma~" she purrs, batting her eyelashes at the man, her polished nails on the desk, slowly approaching his hands. "You're this quiet from something as little as that? Won't you reply to the class? Won't you thank -" she gestured towards the entire room -"your children?" Her laughter, clear as a bell, fills the room.

Karasuma's grasps his head with his hands as he bats Irina's away. "I should have taken the day off," he groans.


End file.
